Spring Break #9

Track practice was a drag today...I was out of my groove at the beginning, but I gradually became more comfortable with running.
Coach told me he wants me to try out some throwing just to see if I'd be able to do it. We'll see; I'm not too enthusiastic about it...

To get to the point of this post...

I recently finished watching an Anime, the name of it will remain undisclosed because I don't want to discuss the show. Rather, I want to talk about the themes.
Often, in good Anime, the writers will attempt to set up a situation where the line between good and evil is blurred to nothing. People who are good and people who are evil are one and the same. This situation created in the particular Anime I watched was not impossible....The many different characters in it were placed in unbearable situations where they had to make choices that were good and bad at the same time. It made me think a lot about the good and evil in the world.

First, this particular Anime lays out the idea that humans are all capable of being extremely wicked, but also extremely good. This is exactly what makes us so volatile. Freud would have agreed with this theory...We all have the capacity to be selfish and horrible.

It is undeniable.

Every day this happens: in politics, in news-media, friends, family...and me, oh yes, me. I, too, am horrible on the inside...
But even though we are all horrible, many of us try to make up for it by being as virtuous as possible. This, unfortunately, brings us to the next problem. This situation is impossible because everyone has conflicting viewpoints all the time because we are all different people.

The problem, unfortunately, is society. Because we humans create this thing called "society," we are all forced into acting in ways that are fundamentally wrong.

Society prevents so many people from being who they truly are on the inside.
This is not to say that murderers or other people who commit crimes should be allowed to act upon their desires. No. This is the place where society comes in handy.

The solution is to modify society. Over the past 3,000 years, societies has been firmly directed by the will of an omnipotent god who will no longer show himself to us.
To me personally, this angers me to no end:

Why would someone who has created me in his image, make me so hideous in his eyes?

I cannot understand it. This society ruled by one god has ruined the lives of millions and millions of people throughout history, not just in the present day.

Because of religion in general:

The Jews were made slaves in Egypt.
Jesus was crucified which caused the eventual creation of Christianity as we know it.
Because of Christianity, millions of Jews have been murdered ever since, in numerous events in the history of Europe.
Also, Christians murdered in the name of Jesus all over the world:
Indigenous peoples
Asians...
Then there comes Islam.
Because of Islam, millions of people, not just Jews, continue to be murdered.

If religion cannot be used to make life sacred, than it must be destroyed.
The only religion that may stand is Judaism, of course. Only for the reason that there is a fundamental emphasis that life should be lived in a beautiful and noble way, even if not all of it is in service to god...it's impossible to be truly loyal.

The reason for this is, again, humans are fundamentally selfish and deny themselves so many things by bending to religion unthinkingly, although with fundamentalist Islam, giving everything is to take as many lives of non-believers as possible.

The opposite argument is this: for thousands of years, people were able to accept and live a "religious" life.

My rebuttal: Sure, this is true, but only really at the beginning. When god showed himself to humans, of course we were able to obey him!
When god removed himself from our presence, it left humans to become wicked: The Crusades, the Pogroms, the murders of Native Americans, and more were all done in the name of god.

How dare they do that.

I know that some people are reading this entry...most people will definitely disagree on the things I've written here.

The truth is that it hurts me so much to think these things...I am weeping.
I wish so badly that everything would be so different...I wish so badly for a world without pointless killing, without pointless laws, without corruption, without prejudice.

Is it so much to ask?

I love my religion so deeply. I love it as much as anything in the world. The reason for this is best explained by simply saying that Judaism gives me a reason to fight injustice. It gives me a reason to fight against hypocrisy and the fucking idiot people who plague us. I love humanity, and I believe it can rise up and be a wonderful, amazing thing. Everything will be accepted: all religions will coexist peacefully, homosexuality, Old, young, rich, poor...
The criminals will be easily pulled from the good.

Aren't these things things that everyone would want? Anyone?

Many of these things are not possible right now.

There needs to be a reformation of society, or everything will combust violently. People need to learn what it means to be human.

The terrorists would need to learn what it really means to take life: to end something so precious and rare. The foolish politicians throughout the world must come to understand what it means to be a terrorist in the name of Allah: that negotiations are impossible and they should be treated as such.

Right now, just those two things seem impossible.

I don't want to think about these things anymore...I'm not sure anything I've written makes sense.

In my heart I am only one person. And in my actions I will always be one person.

And all I want is to be saved.