To begin with the smaller things, Track practice was very intense today. It put me in a really cranky mood...
When I got on the subway after practice, a woman eventually got on the train who smelled like vomit, which made me quite sick myself. When she began to eat a slice of pizza, I seriously considered moving to the next car.
When I got to my cello lesson, I was in an extremely bad mood. Practice, the subway, and the fact that I was in a fight with a friend of mind, had made me insensitive to my actions. I unintentionally acted dejected (understandably) during my lesson. My teacher assumed that this was an intentional affront towards her. In retaliation (I use this word because she was especially childish) she ended my lesson 20 minutes early and promptly sent an email (which I found about and hour ago) to my mother detailing how I had been extremely rude and some other extremely trivial stuff of which wouldn't have mattered to any other adult person. I sent her an apology letter where I put myself under all the blame. But I secretly hope that she feels bad when she understands the whole story. Unbelievable.
There are a couple of reasons why I am so angry, which may be a bit repetitive.
First, there is the general understanding among most adults that teenagers are somewhat volatile. Unpredictable...When teenagers make some sort of a mistake, much of the blame is put towards teenager stupidity. This situation happens all the time.
For example, some kids got busted at my school for drug use on a school trip. One of them who had had prior offenses was expelled, but the rest of them were given a suspension. They did something illegal and it was put under the blame of teenage stupidity.
Now take my situation. I was having a very, very bad day. I am not normally rude to anyone, ever. Especially not a teacher, and not a teacher I respect. Today was very bad, as I said. I have lessons on days when things are not going too well, and I tried to reserve myself as I usually do, carrying myself in a respectful manner. But the one FUCKING time that I slip up and am rude, she goes above me and emails my mother, as if I'm a child throwing some sort of tantrum. I am a teenager. I'm between an adult and child, and I embody traits of both. 98.99% of the time I act so maturely. I don't have a FUCKING INCH?!?! Why is it that the one time I slip up, I get eaten fucking alive. It doesn't make sense. It just doesn't make any sense...
I'm done for the night I guess...I ordered a cheddar burger, no bun, with fries; I need some comfort food really badly...
Gabby-
I have a haiku for you (from me to you, a kindred spirit)
It makes me feel good/high in fiber cereal/cleans up my bowels
Hmmm...kinda gross actually....
Also, I ended up reaching a resolution with the friend I had a dispute with...I think things are gonna be okay.
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