Spring Break #8

I'm such a clutz. I went over to my friend Ben's house yesterday from 3-11 to play Resident Evil 5. Everything goes fine until I spill a fucking glass of coffee. I clean it up, but I got some magazines and papers wet. This is the second time I've spilled something at their house away from the kitchen table: I had spilled iced tea on their couch...how embarrassing...\

Then I spilled water all over myself.

I think my lack of spacial awareness come from the fact that I've been inhaling aerosol for too long...I gotta stop doing it, and I have, but not long ago. I hope my brain cells come back; I need them for my math final. And while we're on that subject, I also need to stop getting C's on my math tests, so my parents don't flip out.

I'm really sick today, but there's this stupid luncheon at the Rabbi's house and my mom is going to make me go to synagogue and the luncheon. The problem is that I'm having a lot of trouble believing in god for many different reasons (maybe I'll talk about them later). Going to synagogue just makes me feel angry because I don't feel the emotion in the prayers like I used to. I need to figure it out. Maybe one day, I'll be somewhere, and I'll say "Oh god, I'm so glad I'm Jewish," or "I know why people believe in god now..." But as of yet, I haven't found the reason. Maybe I need to go back to Israel and feel the magic there...the fact that Israel continues to exist is probably enough of reason to believe in god.

My mom just came home with chocolate croissants...and I think of Gabby because she's actually in gay Paris. But I think she's going to London today...she's probably on the train right now. Bon Voyage, Gabby!...

I decided not to go out for a job, I already have track to worry about...I'd get really fat without track, but maybe it'd be okay, because I'd be making some money...

On second thought, that's a stupid thing to say. I'd rather have my health than money.